Point Two

Point Two: The Program of Helpfulness With Manipulation

Special Gift: Warmth and ability to help people feel comfortable
Self-Definition: "I'm helpful."
Shadow Issue: Parasitic pride
Rejected Element: One's own needs
Addiction: Service/manipulation
Strength Needed: Appropriate self-value (Humility)
Defense Mechanism: Repression
Psychological Disturbance: Hysteria/dependent personality
Talk Style: Help and advice
Preoccupations Include: Gaining approval and avoiding rejection, pride in the importance of oneself in relationships.
Submission to a powerful other, then identifying with the other to avoid feeling depressed.
Concern about limited personal freedom.
Altering oneself to meet the needs of others.
Empathy with others' feelings; adapting to their wishes as a way of assuring their love.
Focus: Personal emphasis on privelege ("me first").
Couple emphasis on aggression/seduction.
Community emphasis on ambition.
Life Task: To move from dependence on approval to knowledge of personal strength to meet one's own needs. This usually requires personal loss. The resulting depression can lead to a more accurate self-assessment and understanding of tasks.

it took me a few attempts to make it thru the whole list. it may me physically turn away from my screen and kind of upset. i'm trying to accept this without any defensiveness b/c this is the essence of me. the fuel that i have been running on. painful and unsettling are my thoughts right now. this is what i need to accept as me; thank you for this blueprint. it's as if an invisible watcher has neatly packaged me and left me to tear it open and find the true gift.
this one really is causing me shortness of breath and physicall pain. tears are close to meeting my eyes. how can it be that i've hungered so long for a sliver of hope and now it's safe and saved in my inbox. i'm scared; terrified but now that i have the bow of the nice package and am ripping it off; needing to destroy the mere words and come to understand them.