is only 10am & already i'm bummed

my brother didn't go to school today because as he put it, "I didn't feel like it". instead his girlfriend, pot-head friend and he are cramped inside his smelly bedroom playing video games & toking up. i can't talk as i enjoy the occasional toke. oh yeah, don't know if i've written about it but cold turkey is way too severe for me. my most recent puff sessions have been weekend only. i may continue this, i may not. not really dwelling on it but i digress. what pains me is that my brother is ridiculously intelligent and he'd rather spend his time doing nothing. this is the 2nd time this week he's missed & he didn't go last monday as well. i can't get caught up in the woe is he trap though. he's going to be 19 next month and he knows how 'the real world' is. he has no job and i don't see any ambition to get a job. i wonder how long he'll live with my mom before he actually does something. it hurts, it really really hurts that i can't shake some damn sense into him but alas all i can do is be supportive sister and let him know how i feel when he does something i don't agree with.

on to brighter news, i am still chasing the elusive perfect cup of coffee. le cafe du semaine est barnie's cinnamon butter cookie. the smell transports me back to 2000 when i worked for them in orlando. ah, those are marvelous memories. the grinding & packing the coffee would make our hands dirty with arabica goodness. our clothes stained with dark chocolate hues but the open atmosphere & kind-heartedness of our fearless leader was an um, cow-send. good times, good times.