angry

anger is freely flowing thru my body at this moment. i'm angry at life, at myself, at school, at stupid stray cats, pretty much anything in my field of vision. why can't she drive? downtown, rush hour morning traffic is not how i wish to spend my morning but fuck it, its over and done with. i realize this thing is for her job; the same job that keeps the internet connection on and food in my ever expanding stomach. god, i need a good joint right now; or maybe some good sex. too much tension in my body but of course i can't do shit about it right now. i want to scream & i want to cry. i want someone to hear me and cure me. i want to be washed down with apathy and not give two shits about anything. no, wait. i already don't give two shits about anything.
i want it to be permanent. i don't want to do homework.

i want to live in clouds of smoke with the ps2 controller in my hand and my girl sitting next to me stroking my back. is that too much to ask? yes, it is. this world waits for no one and unless you get out there and show your teeth, you won't eat. fuck it all i say. let's just give this place a good torching and run like the wind.