monday blues

sitting in my room, typing away at the keys to this laptop while i sip a sierra mist & vodka. all in an effort to quell the voices gnawing at my brain. it's not enough to have what/who i have. i want more. i want more. why can't i focus and appreciate that which is in front of me. that which is mine already. she loves me with such an intensity that i can't begin to reciprocate. i did at first. i miss that. the intensity and passion that characterizes the beginning of every relationship. now it's replaced by drip, drip minutiae...and i have no one to blame but myself.