Sunday Night Blues Part n
Feeling blah on a Sunday night. Wifey just got some way overdue nookie and is in the shower. I'm sulking on my usual spot on the worn blue sofa. Damn cats; they've scratched both arm rests. The frayed edges and exposed metal wires give it a touch of klass. A mixed stew of white and hispanic trash.
I sensed I was going down earlier today. Ironically, I've had a pretty damn good day. Spent a few hours to myself this morning while the wife slept. When I finally woke her up, we laughed and wrestled on the bed like the old days. We even got dressed and went for McD's breakfast. We bonded over It's Always Sunny... and I cooked yummy tacos for a late lunch.
I hate being depressed. What seem to have been the triggers today? Weed. Been in a cloud of smoke since 7am and as much as I know that that fog simply keeps the real problem veiled, I continue to light up. I'm smoking at a way higher rate than ever before. It's getting embarrasing at this point. But I'm not ready to give up.
Another trigger could have been music. Certain music does that; especially Time to Pretend by MGMT. I'm too old to identify with the fuck the man attitude. I'm 32 for crying out loud. I need to have a stable career and personal life already. What the fuck am I going to do when my term is up? I'm starting to get scared of the future.
What will it hold? What will I do? How can I overcome my faults and fears I've I'm not willing to do anything about it? Well, I did promise her that I'd write and look, I'm writing. Maybe I can write a short story to kill time and exercise some creativity.
I sensed I was going down earlier today. Ironically, I've had a pretty damn good day. Spent a few hours to myself this morning while the wife slept. When I finally woke her up, we laughed and wrestled on the bed like the old days. We even got dressed and went for McD's breakfast. We bonded over It's Always Sunny... and I cooked yummy tacos for a late lunch.
I hate being depressed. What seem to have been the triggers today? Weed. Been in a cloud of smoke since 7am and as much as I know that that fog simply keeps the real problem veiled, I continue to light up. I'm smoking at a way higher rate than ever before. It's getting embarrasing at this point. But I'm not ready to give up.
Another trigger could have been music. Certain music does that; especially Time to Pretend by MGMT. I'm too old to identify with the fuck the man attitude. I'm 32 for crying out loud. I need to have a stable career and personal life already. What the fuck am I going to do when my term is up? I'm starting to get scared of the future.
What will it hold? What will I do? How can I overcome my faults and fears I've I'm not willing to do anything about it? Well, I did promise her that I'd write and look, I'm writing. Maybe I can write a short story to kill time and exercise some creativity.
posted by be who you are at 6:33 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home