japan's bart simpson

my new car accident can't look away show is crayon shin-chan . this little kid and his kindergarten pals make me wanna piss my boxers. crazy adventures, passive aggressive moms and daughters who beat up stuffed bunnies? yes, please.

introspecty much?

breakfast rules!!
bittersweet beauty (source)

dear homer, please let this coffee kick in soon. i'm ready to start not caring again. dreamt of target last night. think they're hiring. khaki and red? i think red's a good color on me. when i return from my labor day sabbatical, i'll go to the town centre and apply at different places. old navy, target, barnes & noble and others. my aunt bricelda's going to honduras on saturday. how i wish i could go with. i haven't been back since '99 but i can still remember how it felt, how it smelled, how it tasted and how it sounded. it was hot. hotter than florida but more pedestrian friendly. we stayed in a few cities and although they all share a common denominator, each city's personality was in stark contrast to its neighbor.

flew into what can only be described as catracho nyc, san pedro sula. this city is bustling with noise and movement and people. the frenetic pace so unfamiliar and yet comforting. american-style city complete with strip malls and garish advertisements. we dined at uber-american places like pizza hut; which had the funniest tasting ranch dressing. who knew ranch dressing tasted different outside of the states. the city was buzzing with people running in all directions. taxis vying for the limited roadways with street vendors and old school buses brightly painted with primary colors to attract passengers and cause the eyes to hurt. gaudy and tacky they are. in the most delicious and wonderful way. no one was refused a ride on these technicolor buses. come woman, man, child, chicken, bum, tourist, nun. the journey's price was repaid with lively conversations, exotic and rancid smells, landscapes untouched by man. sadness overcomes me now as i sit and wonder how many pristine places have fallen victim to exploitation by developers.

my grandma lives in the middle of nowhere. as trite as that expression is, in this case it applies. i don't even know the name of the city but i remember we had to traverse over unpaved pseudo-roads. roads composed primarily of rocks and holes and dirt. adorning the roads were houses. houses in only the most basic sense of the word. they were buildings with 4 walls and offered shelter to its inhabitants. luxuries like a sturdy roof and a/c were non-existant but the lack of a/c was not an issue. almost every house had an expansive patio where the country winds reminded me of how unspoiled and organic the environment was. sleeping in hammocks and enjoying the calmness made me feel part of the earth. made me feel as my ancestors must have felt. free from worldly worries. they found solace and escape in the trees and dirt and breeze and rivers. my escapist revelries were only interrupted when i saw children playing. children in dirty clothes, unsupervised, climbing over fallen branches and up trees. children who didn't care or needed to care about their appearance or not having the latest and greatest video game system. life in this town is simple and pure but hard and unfair. is it unfair because of how abundant riches are in america even for lower middle class me? or is it unfair because they don't get to share in the spoils...

these are a few of my favorite things

 

 

me...in print?

stranger things have happened...stay tuned. i'm tired. physically tired. i wanna go night night but i'm actually having funny with picasa. i'm craving some chocolatey goodness but alas there's nothing in this house to indulge in. oooh apple jacks or corn pops. breakfast for late dinner is always a good idea. breakfast at any time of the day is always a good *great* idea.

so i emailed a commentary to folio regarding a very scary write up on a local school board candidate and today they emailed me asking if they could reprint my email in their 'letters' section. hello? is the pope catholic? yes indeedidly do you may! this np offers such an escape from what surrounds me every day. it makes me want to go out and explore this temporary pit spot i'm idling in.

told me mum today how unhappy i am at my current job. ditto she said. that makes me sad. my mum and dad should be enjoying the end of their working days. instead they keep treading water while trying to achieve the more and more unattainable american dream. my broken heart shatters into miniscule pieces for them. i'd give my left arm to help them. hmmm, good thing i'm a righty. they've worked so hard and come so far; but not far enough. bills still pay their monthly visit. collector and telemarketers disturb the phone's sleep at all hours of the day. i try to be nice to telemarketers cause i feel for them having to have this leper-job but damn, everyday? every hour? don't call list my ass. let me change lanes and try to write about something positive

t minus 3 days and counting till i journey down to orlando. recharge my batteries i hope. reconnect with the part of me that actually is alive and hopefully i'll come back with a new mindset. or at least be able to fake it a bit better. the biggest nuisance right now is my job. i know i should be content that i have a decent paying job and such but ugh, that's not enough. in this me me me world, i don't care enough about others' problems to focus on the good. the negative is soooo much easier and more comfy fitting; like a pair of sweats that stacy and clinton would trash. i'm taking it just day by day now and actually i counted and if my sinister scheme goes well, i'll only have to work 21 more days. i know where i belong. in a classroom. absorbing knowledge, reacquanting myself with dormant knowledge, filling the void that i've carried for the last 10 years. not giving in to life's fucked up joke. baby steps on this journey to happiness. that's what it is right? a journey? not a destination? that's what mayra said the other day...it got me thinking alright.

i'm bored and need to kill time

grandma, drugs, and kids as the main entree? bring on the final sleep!!

and now for the entertainment portion of the night

Super Tuesday in my universe

Super Tuesday in my universe. Chock full of sopa de res nuggets that even if I still smoked couldn't make up:

* Boys and Girls, raise your hand if you think satan's butt bitch Donnie Rumsfeld is just this side of criminally insane...or the.funniest.man.on.the.planet

* Mexicans are part of a triple alliance with Islamofascists and the Chinese to take over the United States..I knew it!

FolioWeekly, the alternative voice newspaper in Jax is sublime. Bubbling over with wonderful opinions and articles; too bad the website doesn't have the content online although i read this quote today and just had to share it...

POWER IS VESTED IN THE PEOPLE, AND THE PEOPLE ARE PROVING WEAK, LAZY, GULLIBLE, PASSIVE. (shelton hull)

ok. emmys didn't suck too much

happy, happy, joy joy. happy happy joy joy. happy happy joy joy joy. finally mariska hargitay's getting some emmy love. phenomenal actress who blew me away for the nominated episode 911. she restores my fractured faith in humanity. she's incredibly loving and radiates beauty, warmth and is super hot mama.

the office is of course the best comedy winner. absolutely no contest here. if the office didn't win, the emmy voters would be trying to get egg out of their hair, cars, clothes et al. the office ladies all look fab and i love how happy they all are! this welcome to the big leagues ladies. loved that ricky & stephen were in the audience.

the password is...

dysthymia. i so should be a doctor. i know what i know cause the internet tells me how to self-diagnose. appointments wednesday and thursday only.

amber benson for president

bored on a sunday afternoon. i had plans to go to target but when i sat down and wrote my list (yes i'm nerd who lists) nothing needed came to mind. a few things but nothing worth me getting out of my cozy a/c'd apt. that's what after work is for. my boredom's been killed by the one and only ms amber benson.

i am in awe of this woman. not only is she a gifted actress, she is a writer/director/producer/singer. she brings a smile to my face and more importantly inspiration. nothing is sexier and more appealing than a strong female not afraid to go out and conquer every medium she steps foot in. just reading about her exploits makes me giddy with positivity and helps me face my mundane life. life shouldn't be just about existing and taking up space/breathing oxygen. it needs/should be about finding what i'm meant to do and do it. herein lies my problem. i'll be 30 next year (gasp!) and i've yet to make my mark in the world. what is tangible and what i know is that my brain is not being stimulated currently. i don't need to write the next great american novel but i'd love to be involved in below the radar writing/indie filming. i'd like to play the role of starving artist. i'd like to do what i'm passionate about. i'd like to surround myself with like-minded people and feed off each other's energy and drive. this is why i cannot/will not continue in my present csr job much longer. it is literally killing me. my brain goes numb; indifference and hatred take over like a cancer. before my brain is lost, i will remove the malignant tumor. in its place will be joyful celebrations as my calling comes into focus. mmmm, ok so maybe i'm jumping the oh so big gun on this one but i am tired of being tired and bored. i'm going to check out some writing workshops for any crumbs i can eat up.

life is the big bad

finished season 6 today. i can't remember how many times i cried. at anya's wedding, tara's death, yellow crayon, spuffy almost rape. life is the big bad. seeing myself in every single one of the characters made me appreciate this show even more than i thought possible. as a fellow fan said, we're as bad as trekkies. i'm up to Help in season 7 and so far i'm enjoying this season. after s5 i was apprenhensive because i remember s6 being depressing and s7 a big blur. i know s7 has some highlights i can't wait to get to:

* Storyteller: Jane Espenson is my goddess. cool refreshing zimas all around!
* Him: what we won't do for love spelly lust
* my girl Anya, "Is it gonna get sexy?"
* dawn stops whining...a bit
* to love or hate kennedy. i'm still undecided. first viewing of this season, i wanted her and rona made into potential casserole and fed to the turok-han but i'm willing to give her a chance. if she helps willow move on, good on her. r.i.p. tara

marry me arianna?

can't argue too much with ms. huffington's words but ned lamont beating lieberman was pretty bittersweet. will it change anything? my cynical brain can't compute that thought. i'd like to think that this race re-awoken (is that even a word) the status quo politicos into actually paying attention to their constituents and voters but those pesky special interest lobbyists are the only ones that truly matter, right joe? running as an independent dem? huh? keep sucking up to gw & co. if ct voters have brass balls, they'll free you from your senatorial servitude and let you reap oodles upon oodles of cash working some k street scheme.

the quiet things that no one ever knows

finishing up week 3 of work. so far it's ok. it's better than ok cause we're still in training. once we get on the floor is when the real apathy kicks in. mmmm. apathy. served over a heaping helping of superiority complex and drizzled with self-conciousness makes for a delicioso aperitif. i'm trying to be positive as this job will be my flying buttress of support for sf. i'm in a rather blah mood at the moment. very blah. i started writing an email to h and just felt disillusionment and sadness guide my fingers to the words. i stopped before i got too sylvia plath-y so i decided to post here instead. finished watching the first season of doctor who on dvd courtesy of netflix. i love this show. i love the complexity/the simplicity allegory. who knew sci-fi could be so ballsy and fun? billie piper is quite an actress. from what i've read, she became famous early in life and was living the rock n' roll lifestyle before getting her act in order. i wish i was in the uk. london? nah, i'd prefer glasgow or edinburgh. still lusting over the scots accent.

i wanna do something with someone. i'm pleased as piss that i'm working cause at least i get out of the house and get to interact with others but so far have made no new friends. is it an impossibility to make friends after 25? yes, giles it is. friday nite is crushing. the anticipation of the weekend during the week helps me get thru the days but when friday arrives, the realization that the only thing that awaits me is 2 days of vegging in front of the telly sours my mood. c'est la vie, n'est-pas? my theories about jax were true. this is an odd-ball city complete with equally weird people. in a lot of ways it truly is a poor country city. in some ways it's just a sad, sad city. i can't let myself get too down. i guess i can go and do what i've been doing all summer. watch more buffy. i'm up to season 6. the dark season....so maybe watching buffy won't do too much to cheer me up but at least i'll be among friends.

apathy takes over, no one cares

simple manta. oh so difficult to do though. friday nite in front of my pc. hmmm, what else is new? can't wait till next weekend to go party in orlando! i miss my peeps terribly. jax people are just so strange